Although I plan to write a post dedicated to dating etiquette in general, this is something that deserves its very own post. There is one question that is so filled with temptation and destruction that many people, both men and women find themselves asking people they are interested in that completely destroys any chance of starting a relationship or intimate encounter. This is the questioning of how many people a person has had sex with.
I know, it’s something that we all wonder about and is very tempting to ask but many people don’t realize that this is the Pandora’s Box of questions that can never be closed. At the time you might think you want to know the answer but after hearing it you will regret it. The main problem with this question is that there isn’t a good number to answer it with. If you actually tell them a number, even if it’s the honest accurate one, it still won’t be good. It will either be too high, as in you have slept with too many people in that person’s opinion and could have diseases or are a cheater, or too low, as in you don’t have enough experience and that you may be awful in bed or something is wrong with you. This is no winning with this question. The best way to handle it in my opinion is to say something along the lines of that it’s your business or that you keep that private. I mean really when it comes down to it that is a very rude question to ask in the first place. If however you find yourself on the receiving end of this question you don’t need to give a rude stiff answer. Keep your smile and charm on and avoid answering it. Use it as an opportunity to say something witty like, “Wouldn’t you like to know” or “I’ll have to check my book, should I go through volumes 1 or 5?” The point is to not make a big deal about it and play it off like it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t. Women who do ask this often times aren’t looking for a number anyway. They are using it to test the way you react to it. If you stumble or get nervous it’s a sign that you have something to hide and are ashamed of it. This is not attractive and she will take notice. It’s none of her business anyway and you have no need to tell her.
I know some people use the disease thing as an excuse but when it comes down to it, you could get sleep with 100 people and never get a disease or sleep with one person and get one. If you are being responsible and safe you would know anyway and tell someone before sleeping with them.
Things really get terrible when you not only ask how many but who. I know as a guy when I find out that a woman I am attracted to slept with a guy I don’t like it completely changes my perception of the woman. I know some woman think that it’s not a big deal but most guys are very into karma when it comes to this sort of thing. Sleeping with a guy that is our friend or someone we respect is one thing but sleeping with the enemy is a low blow for us. I know people argue this but when you choose a douche bag or someone we believe to be a douche bag over someone who isn’t it really pisses us off to the core. This is why I suggest never asking in the first place.
The moral of the story is that both genders need to stop asking people how many people they have slept with and who they were. It’s not only very rude but extremely destructive. So if you want a chance, don’t ask.
Jack's Paradise 