Indicators of Interest: What Women Do When They Are Interested In You.

It is a well known fact that when it comes to reading signals and body language, women are generally much better at it compared to men. Girls tend to socialize more and at a younger age so they have years of practice that boys simply don’t get. Men also tend to be more forward and upfront with they are interested in a woman. Women on the other hand tend to use signals and actions instead of being direct when they are interested in a man. This causes confusion and frustration between both sexes. Being a man I know that there have been plenty of times in my life where I look back now and realize that there were plenty of women who showed interest in me and I completely ignored it or had no idea that she was into me. I see this very commonly with other guys in public as well and it’s so frustrating to witness guys who are around women who like them and yet they have no idea so they don’t approach her. I believe the only way to deal with this issues is for men to educate themselves on the subject and learn what so many women already know. So below is a list of some common indicators of interest to look for when you are around women. This is by no means a complete list and even if you see a woman giving you these signals it doesn’t always 100% of the time mean that she is into you but a lot of the time it does. So here you go and enjoy.

1. She goes out of her way to talk to you: I know it might so sound silly but when a woman likes you, she likes to talk to you. If she goes out of her way to start a conversation with you and keeps it from getting awkward or slowing down, there is a good chance that she is at least interested in you. Also if she answers your calls or texts right away it means she’s been weighting for you to talk to her and wants to talk to you.

2. Eye contact: If you catch a woman making eye contact with you across the room and she smiles or looks away shyly, there is a good chance she is interested in you. It’s also a good indicator that she wants you to approach her. If you are already talking to a girl and she maintains eye contact it is also a good sign.

3. Laughing: If you are having a conversation with a girl and she is laughing at things that you are saying it is a very good sign. (Especially if you aren’t being very funny.) If you can make her laugh she is having fun with you and its taking all of the edge off. Anything that gets her to smile is a good thing.

4. She plays with her hair around you: Both men and women do this when they are around someone they are attracted to. Women do this to get you to notice them and to make their hair look more attractive. It’s also a sign of nervousness when they are around a guy they like. You may catch them pulling down the length of their hair or twirling a strand of hair around their finger. (Women used to do this with telephone cords back when phones had cords and they were talking about or to a guy they liked.)

5. A higher pitched voice: A woman’s voice tends to go up in pitch when she is talking to a guy she likes. This also happens when a woman is ovulating although it’s usually very subtle. Higher pitched voices tend to be a sign of youth and health in women and men often find it more attractive. Some women use “baby talk” as an extreme version of this.

6. Proximity: People have their own personal space. When someone is attracted to you they may find a reason or an excuse to stand close to you. If you welcome their “invasion” it’s a sign that you are comfortable with them being near you which can be a sign of attraction.

7. Touch: Taking the last point a bit further. If a woman goes out of her way to touch you in some way it is a very good sign that she is attracted to you. People don’t touch people they don’t like generally and if they go out of their way to touch it means something positive. She may brush against you as she walks by you or touches your arm to emphasize a point she is making. There are varying degrees of touch which are usually all good signs. If she isn’t slapping you in the face you are probably good. Play fighting is a pretty common one. If she punches you in the arm but laughs or smiles at you while calling you a jerk face you have successfully attracted a woman. Oh, and if she is touching your chest while talking to you there is no denying that she wants you.

8. She exposes her neck: Sometimes a woman will tilt her head up and a little to the side when she is talking to you. It’s a sign of submission and that she is comfortable around you. The neck is a vulnerable spot on the body.

9. She mentions your girlfriend: If you have just met or she doesn’t know you very much she may casually mention something like, “Your girlfriend must really like you.” or something along those lines. This is her not so sneaky way of finding out if you are single or not without coming out and asking you directly.

So there you have it. As I said before this is only a small number of examples and I plan on giving more examples and taking a closer look at body language in a future post. This is a good start though and all of you men reading this should be on the lookout for these signals. It’s funny how your awareness will change when you learn to look for signs of interest. With enough practice and education you will notice these multiple times a day in your everyday life. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you here again soon.

 

Attracting The Wrong Women: The Curse of Being Uninterested

   Confidence is a funny thing. It’s something that every woman wants in a guy and yet it’s something that most guys struggle to obtain. When we see a pretty girl that we are attracted to most of us lose whatever confidence we may have if any at all. There are other times however, when many of us men have no trouble being confident at all when we are around certain women. This is the cruel twist of fate that I’ve witnessed happen to countless men, including myself, and it is one of the most frustrating things guys go through in their lives. You see, when men are around women that they aren’t interested in romantically or sexually they often times have no trouble being confident. This leads to another even more frustrating phenomenon which is attracting women that we aren’t interested in. So why does this happen and what can you do to stop it? 

   When it comes down to why this happens, the answer is very simple. Basically when you are around women that you aren’t attracted to you don’t usually get nervous. The majority of the nerves and approach anxiety you experience only occurs when you are interested in a woman. You want things to go well so you begin to worry about all of the ways that it might make it not. In your mind you think you have something to lose because you want something. When you don’t want something you don’t care what happens and you don’t get nervous so you end up being confident because there is nothing to lose. Unfortunately women aren’t mind readers so they assume that you are a confident guy in general with all women and that often times will make them feel attraction towards you. They have no idea that your confidence is stemming from the fact that you aren’t attracted to them. Many guys who have trouble with women and dating often times have women in their lives that actually are attracted to them, some to point of even being madly in love with them. The problem is that the guy isn’t attracted to them. This is perfectly fine and normal because nobody should ever settle when it comes to dating or sex. If you aren’t attracted to someone you shouldn’t settle for them just because they are the only person who likes you right now. A lot of guys fall into that trap but even the ones who don’t still find it upsetting. Sometimes it feels like having no women attracted to you would be better then only ones that you aren’t into. So what can you do to prevent this from happening?

   First off you have to realize that this is a problem that is never going to go away completely and that’s how life is. When you learn to improve yourself and attract women that you want to be with you are still going to attract ones that you don’t. Attraction isn’t easy to focus on a single person when you are around other people as well. Cupid doesn’t use arrows, he uses grenades.  Sometimes other people get caught in the blast. As I’ve said before, women are more attracted to guys that other women are attracted to. So accept it and move on. 

   Once you’ve done that you can focus on what’s going on with your nerves. One of the things I do to help with this is realize that when I get nervous around a woman it’s a sign that this person could be wonderful and that I need to get to know her. Don’t focus on the bad feelings and remind yourself that this is a sign of an opportunity. Don’t worry about what could go wrong. 

   Also realize that if any women are finding you attractive that it’s probably safe to say that there is something about you that is good. Figure out what that something is and work on improving it and getting other women to see it. I think every woman knows at least one guy who they are friends with who is single and yet she can’t understand why he is. The girl knows he is a great person and that other women would be lucky to have him but for some reason he doesn’t show that to other women and he gets rejected. Don’t hide your good qualities just because some attractive woman enters the room and you get nervous. You’re only hurting yourself and cheating her and other amazing women in the room out of getting to know an amazing guy. 

Another one of the main causes of your nerves is that you don’t know if the woman is attracted to you or not. If you walked into a room full of gorgeous women that you already knew liked you I guarantee that you would have no trouble at all talking to them and being confident. It’s the uncertainty that causes you to get nervous. This is also part of the reason that some self-centered bad guys are good at seducing women. In their own minds they already believe that every girl in the room wants to sleep with them so they come off as confident. This is why I personally love it when women flirt first. As long as it’s subtle but clear that she is into me I have no problem at all opening up and flirting with her because the pressure is gone. Many of you ladies would be surprised how many secret amazing guys are out there that you never get to know just because they are too nervous to show you. Try flirting first and you may find a confident amazing prince in hiding that was there all along.

 

The Question That Ruins It All

  

 Although I plan to write a post dedicated to dating etiquette in general, this is something that deserves its very own post. There is one question that is so filled with temptation and destruction that many people, both men and women find themselves asking people they are interested in that completely destroys any chance of starting a relationship or intimate encounter. This is the questioning of how many people a person has had sex with.

   I know, it’s something that we all wonder about and is very tempting to ask but many people don’t realize that this is the Pandora’s Box of questions that can never be closed. At the time you might think you want to know the answer but after hearing it you will regret it. The main problem with this question is that there isn’t a good number to answer it with. If you actually tell them a number, even if it’s the honest accurate one, it still won’t be good. It will either be too high, as in you have slept with too many people in that person’s opinion and could have diseases or are a cheater, or too low, as in you don’t have enough experience and that you may be awful in bed or something is wrong with you. This is no winning with this question. The best way to handle it in my opinion is to say something along the lines of that it’s your business or that you keep that private. I mean really when it comes down to it that is a very rude question to ask in the first place. If however you find yourself on the receiving end of this question you don’t need to give a rude stiff answer. Keep your smile and charm on and avoid answering it. Use it as an opportunity to say something witty like, “Wouldn’t you like to know” or “I’ll have to check my book, should I go through volumes 1 or 5?” The point is to not make a big deal about it and play it off like it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t. Women who do ask this often times aren’t looking for a number anyway. They are using it to test the way you react to it. If you stumble or get nervous it’s a sign that you have something to hide and are ashamed of it. This is not attractive and she will take notice. It’s none of her business anyway and you have no need to tell her. 

   I know some people use the disease thing as an excuse but when it comes down to it, you could get sleep with 100 people and never get a disease or sleep with one person and get one. If you are being responsible and safe you would know anyway and tell someone before sleeping with them. 

   Things really get terrible when you not only ask how many but who. I know as a guy when I find out that a woman I am attracted to slept with a guy I don’t like it completely changes my perception of the woman. I know some woman think that it’s not a big deal but most guys are very into karma when it comes to this sort of thing. Sleeping with a guy that is our friend or someone we respect is one thing but sleeping with the enemy is a low blow for us. I know people argue this but when you choose a douche bag or someone we believe to be a douche bag over someone who isn’t it really pisses us off to the core. This is why I suggest never asking in the first place. 

   The moral of the story is that both genders need to stop asking people how many people they have slept with and who they were. It’s not only very rude but extremely destructive. So if you want a chance, don’t ask. 

 

Every Guy Has His Girls.

  I personally hope to live a very long, happy, and fulfilling life. Ideally I’d like to have a rough idea of when my time is nearly up but a lot of us aren’t given that luxury. Some people prefer to die quick and with no warning and although I understand can sympathize why, I personally want some time to reflect and remember those who made my life so amazing. This leads me to the topic of this post which is something that a lot of people don’t like to talk about, especially when they are in a serious relationship with someone. 

   The fact of the matter is that regardless of what anybody says, every guy has his girls. I don’t care who you end up married to or who you decide is your absolute soul mate, every guy has women in his life that he cares about on a very deep level. These are women that he has met throughout his entire life that have affected him in such a way that he will always care about them. Some examples of these are friends, girlfriends, relatives, acquaintances, and sometimes even one night stands. They can even be women that they ended up hating over the course of their life time but still had a deep connection with at some point in time. Any woman or girl who has changed your life in some shape or form for the better that you still care about are who I consider to be a guy’s girl. We all have at least one girl that we let get away or didn’t have the courage to ask out. We all have regrets and mistakes that we’ve made with women that stay with us for the rest of our lives. We have amazing memories and moments in our lives that changed us and women that were there to make it happen. It’s not always a sexual or romantic thing either but women that have big and small parts in making us into the man we are today. Don’t forget these women. I don’t care if some of them hate your guts and will never speak to you ever again. It doesn’t matter. Remember these girls and the good times they have given you and look back with wonder and amazement and be thankful that they caused such great feelings in you. That’s what life is really about. 

   Find the one that’s right for you but don’t forget the ones that got you to her and who got you to you. 

 

The 80/20 Rule of Sex and Dating. Theory or Fact?

 

Many of you may have heard of the 80/20 rule when reading about other topics. For those of you who don’t know, here is a little history lesson of the origin of the 80/20 rule.

 “The Pareto principle (also known as the 80–20 rule, the law of the vital few, and the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.”

“Business-management consultant Joseph M. Juran suggested the principle and named it after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who observed in 1906 that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population; he developed the principle by observing that 20% of the pea pods in his garden contained 80% of the peas.”   -wikipedia.org

This principle is used to explain data and result in a variety of different subjects including social and dating behaviors. Members of the dating and seduction communities are split when it comes to some of these theories but today I am going to focus on a particular one that I personally believe which is the theory that 80% of women date and have sex with 20% of men. 

   As I was doing some research for this theory I was surprised to find a lot of backlash against it in recent times. I remember reading about this for the first time half a decade ago and it was much more accepted back then. Basically the theory states that the majority of women are attracted to, date, and sleep with a small percentage of the male population. This small percentage of guys is made up of good guys, rich guys, powerful guys, and bad guys. Now in a previous post I stated that I believe that somewhere around 60% of guys are bad guys. I still believe this but not all bad guys get laid. Some bad guys are so dumb that they don’t even hide their terrible qualities and never get laid because of it. Also many rich and powerful males are bad guys that only come off as attractive because of their money and power. Another thing to keep in mind is that 80% and 20% are not set in stone numbers. Basically the whole idea behind the theory is that a large percentage of women are choosing to date and sleep with a smaller percentage of men. Although this is debated a lot I personally still believe it to be true. So why is this?

   For starters this has been going on for centuries. Powerful men have slept with multiple women since the beginning of our existence. Not every man can be powerful and ruling so these men were outnumbered by “lesser” men who were seen as unattractive. In short, there are less attractive men then there are unattractive men. It has been proven through numbers of studies that women tend to find men that have a high status and make more money compared to other men as more attractive. It should also be noted that these same studies found that women care more about personality then looks. This is why you see many rich, powerful, and ugly men with very attractive women. Many of them have terrible personalities as well but the status, money, and power make up for it. Not all women are like this and I want to make that point very clear. But there are many out there who are. These same women who choose to be with men for their money and power often end up cheating on them with younger, more attractive men with better personalities and looks anyway which says a lot. 

    If you examine online dating this theory shows itself from the very early stages. Basically if you are a woman on an online dating site you are going to be receiving e-mails constantly from men. On the flip side, the majority of men on dating sites receive very few. This is because women are more sought-after because they are harder to get because there aren’t as many available out there, 80% are “taken” while you have a very large number of men, 80%, who are not. Now as I said before, those are only rough numbers. The point is that in a perfect world the numbers would be balanced. There would be an equal, or roughly equal number of available men as there is available women. Obviously the world can’t be perfect but I believe that in its current state there is a large imbalance that needs to be dealt with. 

   Now I’m sure as many of you are aware one of the main causes for this imbalance is the fact that people are cheating. A small number of men are having sex with many women. These women are in turn sleeping with multiple men but out of a smaller group of men. This may seem balanced but you have to factor in other things that I have discussed. First off the majority of women are being sought-after by the majority of men in general, regardless of what percentage they are in. However, this isn’t true on the flip side. The majority of men are not being sought-after by the majority of women. If they were things would be balanced. Instead, only a smaller number of men are being sought-after. So the next time you hear a woman complain about how there aren’t any good men around, laugh to yourself and realize that she has a much larger group to choose from then you do. Sad but true. Don’t let that get you down however. 

   Now as I have said this is only a theory. Many very educated and experienced people are on both sides of its discussion as well as many not so. I would love to hear what others personally believe. I believe that its true and it can be very depressing at times. A lot of men when they read this theory get upset and use it as an excuse for their problems with women. I look at it this way. If the theory is in fact true it only means women are pickier when it comes to who they sleep with and date. I know for a fact that a lot of the men these women believe to be attractive are in fact douche bags that don’t deserve an ounce of what life has given them and that only means that the women who choose to believe that these men are great are just as flawed as the men themselves. I pity them and know that these types of women are not good enough to be with me. I may have to try harder to becoming one of these “amazing” 20% of guys that women find attractive but that’s okay. Growing and becoming the best man I can be is a lifelong goal of mine anyway and I’ve come a long way already. 

   Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave your comments below about your opinions of the 80/20 rule. Take care everyone.